People and God really amaze me . For the past three weeks , I've been sinking and falling and sliding down in to this deep , dark , damp hole . I've been letting my anger come out of my pores , it consumed me . My insecurities drove me . I've hid respect and refused to apologise . I felt like I was losing everything . Pushing everyone away and hurting them to insure distance .
But finally , (two days ago , actually) the tables turned . I went to sleep the night before angry with Johnathon but still feeling very much in love . Then woke up completely rested . I felt good . Amazing . I woke up , I cleaned and cleaned . I went grocery shopping . All before 11am . Which always makes me feel so good about the day . I even bought Johnathon an "I'm sorry" card .
Then , something even better happened . I agreed to go visit Lua's mom to plan her birthday party together . Which was a huge step for us because we've been not getting along lately . Seems she's been going through a very similar feeling of anger too . But , we put it all behind us and actually had a very nice time planning the party . And I got to see Lua which always makes things better .
After that , I went in to work and had the most perfect work day ever . We got rushes a couple times an hour which is good because it makes the day go by so much quicker . Then , inbetween customers , we just talked . My co-worker is an amzing woman . She's been through so much , she's a strong Christian , she's a genuinely amazing person . I look up to her so much . So talking to her about anything and everything very much lifted my spirits . I went home that night and had a wonderful rest of the night with Johnathon .
I feel rejuvinated .
:)
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